We live in an era where women are feeling more uncomfortable with certain things men do and say. It’s the truth; Hell, I’m a woman, so I can speak for us gals. There are just certain things that make us cringe, especially when it comes to sex with you guys. I get ya’ll like to be the dominant person during sex (or most of you like to be), but sometimes it’s too much for us to handle (and not in a good way). Like, don’t call us a slut, and don’t tell us to call you ‘daddy.’

Well, okay, so there are probably a small percentage of women out there that actually do like being called a slut. There are also women out there that like calling their man ‘daddy’ during sex. I’m over here speaking for the majority of us girls; There’s just certain things you should not say to us.

So, if you haven’t deciphered where I’m going with this article yet, let me lay it out flat for you (if the title hasn’t done that yet). I know I mentioned there are certain things that make us uncomfortable that you guys do and say, but for the purpose of this article, I’ll stick with the uncomfortable things ya’ll say sometimes. In other words, I’m going to help you guys out by telling you exactly how to talk dirty to your lady, the right way. You know, the way where you’ll both enjoy it, without causing an argument of any kind.

Check out some of my suggestions below.

Talk it out with your lady before doing it.

Before jumping right into dirty talk, have a conversation with her about whether she likes it or not. In addition, ask her what her limits are as well as what she enjoys to hear. Remember, every woman is different, so don’t assume your girlfriend will like what you like.

Unfortunately, bringing up this topic in conversation is a little difficult. You have to be sly, and you can’t make her feel like you’re judging her desires. So, ask her something along the lines of this: “I read an article the other day about how some women like dirty talk and others don’t like it, what’s your take on the whole thing?” It’s a safe way to introduce the topic, trust me.

Sexting is a good way to introduce dirty talk, too.

Sexting is a good first step in getting used to dirty talk. Women who are uncomfortable with sexy talk usually feel more comfortable if it’s introduced via technology, first. Now, I would still talk about it in person beforehand, but if you want to try it out with your lady for the first time, try sexting before doing it in person. That way, if she’s nervous or unsure of what to say right away, she can think about it and get back to you; On the other hand, if you start dirty talking to her in person, she may not know what to say back to you immediately, and it may end up killing the mood.

If she’s unsure of how she feels about it, take it slow and understand that her first time may not be an in person interaction due to her nerves.

When you’re doing it in person, start off slow and go with the flow.

When you’re having sex with your lady, or about to have sex with her, is when you should kick start the dirty talk. Now, I would like to suggest you say something along a general guideline to begin. For example, when you’re inside her, tell her that she feels so good. If you’re just getting riled up and starting the foreplay, tell her you can’t wait to take her clothes off and see her amazing body.

In addition, pay attention to both her verbal and non-verbal cues. If she starts talking dirty back to you, you can increase the descriptive terms you use while talking to her. Make sure she feels comfortable with it; Signs of comfort would be heavy breathing and signs of discomfort would be her body tensing up.

Watch your tone.

Tone is everything. Tone can make her feel comfortable, or it can make her feel scared. And, if you use a tone that makes her tense up, or if you say something that seems to make her feel weird, try covering it up with a joke or comment of some sort. For example, you could ask, “Was that too far? I’m sorry; You’re just so sexy that I can’t think straight.” Most likely, she’ll laugh and the tension in the room will clear.

Do not tell her what to do.

Unless she explicitly stated she is OK with being bossed around, don’t do it. What’s the point of demanding her to do something to you or for you? Sex is supposed to be fun, not a chore. She doesn’t want to feel uncomfortable and controlled around you, she wants to enjoy sexy time with you.

So, instead of telling her to give you a blowjob, commentate towards it. Say something along the lines of, “I couldn’t stop thinking about your lips around me all day, you give such great blowjobs.” Then, she might even offer without you having to suggest it. That way, she’s willing to do it and she won’t feel like she absolutely has to do it.

Don’t call her vile names.

Don’t call her a bitch, a slut, or a whore. I honestly have no idea why this would even be a thought process, it’s super degrading. Trust me when I say, they’ll probably think negative thoughts if they are called one of these names. For instance, they may feel used, as if they’re only there for your pleasure and nothing else.

Unless she gives you permission to call her such names, don’t use them.

Avoid requesting the title “daddy.”

Keep family members, and their names, away from the bedroom. Women don’t want to call their partners “daddy,” so don’t request it. Unless she explicitly tells you she likes that, stay away from it.

By Jenny Lyn